I Vant to be Alone

There are times when you just need to be alone. Decompress, evaluate, cry, binge on TV, sleep, eat cookies, fret, eat more cookies and then WRITE about it.

I’ve found myself requiring more solace than usual lately. Respite and quiet times are healing but to the outside observer, this may look like isolation. In a way I guess I do isolate myself but this is a necessary part of my self-care regime. BUT, if you don’t see me surface after a few days, please check on me. I may have been arrested and hello, there is no internet in jail.

A New Decade– A New “F” Word

A few weeks from now I will turn 50 years old.  Exactly half of my life has taken place in California as a wife, a mother and a professional.  I can’t say that I am sad or depressed about this milestone because life just keeps getting better!

Fifty begins an exciting decade—a different story.  I am embarking on life as a single person, living life on new terms.  If I had to describe myself now, I would be a kaleidoscope.  Tiny unrelated objects and broken pieces, symbolizing the remnants of life’s lessons, are thrown together to form intricate patterns when they dance amongst the mirrors.  Constantly tumbling yet forming stunning artistry when held to the light.  Light is required to see the beauty I hold inside!

I could sit and complain about hardships, lost opportunities and broken promises but I refuse to go there. Yes, I have weak moments when I have to gripe so don’t call me a liar!  On those days I remember that the better wine comes from old vines!

I am a kaleidoscope. I am a fine wine.  I am happy.  Fifty is not the new “F” word, unless of course “F” stands for FABULOUS!

From the heart,

CaraW

©2012MyGirlfriendVoice

 

Olympic Gold in the Zen Den

I am celebrating Olympic Gold here in the Zen Den!!! 

Twenty five years ago I moved to California and in a blink twenty five years later, I am starting again—my way.  In just the last two years I have experienced a move, a new job, the death of a parent and deciding to move forward on my divorce PLUS I became an empty nester all while facing my 50^th birthday.  If I recounted all that has happened in the last five or ten years—you’d swear I was a reading straight from the pages of a great work of fiction.  Too much drama for one person to endure!

Therefore, to celebrate the trials and tribulations of my last quarter century, I am awarding myself Gold medals in the categories of Mental Gymnastics and Emotional Track and Field.  I have performed like a champion! 

The Doorway

In my old house, there was a piece of duct tape covering a hole in the cracked glass window of the front door.  I thought I was quite clever to tape up the draft but five years later, YES FIVE, I was replacing the tape and not the glass or the door.  This was the sole entrance to our family home yet what was a little duct tape?  Well, it was a metaphor for many things that were going on behind closed doors; both in the home and in my mind.

The doorway is an amazing visual.  It is both a transition point and a boundary.

Doorways may represent a delicious opportunity……or closure to lessons learned and the drama of yesterday.

 The doorway is a choice;

a point where you can continue forward,

pause and contemplate

or pass on by.